Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
