so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize