I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
