Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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