dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The feeling are messing with the penis
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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