I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
