Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
