shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Everyone says I win the strip club
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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