If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
