you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
