Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
This is the high leading the old right now
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
