saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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