Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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