Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
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