I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
