I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
how can u be prego again
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
