its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
