Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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