oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
