I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
