i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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