We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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