My friends, they love my intelligence
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
