Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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