Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
