their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
