And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
