My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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