She said her name was "party"
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
