im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
