everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
