i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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