It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
