Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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