If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
