Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I would ride that face into the sunset
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
