just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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