yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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