Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
