My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
