you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
