I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
