Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
