I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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