I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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