yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
