so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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