I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
