Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
