She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
