I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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