Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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